Thursday, June 5, 2008

YOWZA!

So I've been literally operating on criminal speed for the past coupla days. Work, school, homework, more work, crash for 4 hours, get up and do it all over again. "Shotgun Summer" classes is the most insane event that you could put a mind through. Cramming a 500+ page book with 50+ chapters on a subject that is pretty boss but requires full attention within 4 measly weeks is by far the most batshit idea that I've had in years. (Ok, not really, but I don't kiss and tell.)

Anywho, for most of my life (you know, since I was like 3) I have felt a little bit on the outside of things - more than any regular kid would. Even in romantic relationships, I've never felt comfortable enough to fully let myself go. However, over the years I have grown to like my awkwardness, I relish the idea of being "different". This ethic was tossed upside down about 4 days ago...

In taking classes, writing, experiencing and living freely the way I want to, I have realized that I am now more in tune with myself than ever. Did I therefore lose my true self that I had grown to love before, or maybe just improved upon it? Dusting a surface to reveal the shine?

Sociology is something that I've been wanting to get into for a long time. My tendency to overanalyze things and sitting back to observe the chaos has come in mighty handy. I may of finally found a place to belong to. Whenever I set foot in that classroom I can breathe. Watching the information fly over the heads of my classmates and straight into my ears is a wonderful sight. I guess everyone has thier own place in this world. Do what you love, love what you do; that sort of thing. But I want so desperately to see where this first step may lead me. I'm changing so much and so quickly, I'm trying to keep it all in perspective and fun.

Then again, I'm running on empty and little sleep.
It's a proud tired.

Take care all.

1 comment:

B.Sunshine said...

totally feel the same way.