Thursday, May 29, 2008

R.I.P Hedley Lamarr

If you've never seen Blazzing Saddles, History of the World Part I, or the wonderfulness that is The Carol Burnett Show (years 64' to 67'), then you need to do yourself a big favor and get your ass to your local movie rental place. Youtube it, buy it on Amazon, just see it.
Harvey Korman, one of my all time favorite actors passed away today at the age of 81.
Out of the instances where I can remember spending actual, real, fun time with my father as a kid is watching the Carlol Burnett Show reruns during dinner and laughing ourselves silly because no matter the situation, no matter the joke, Korman was always great. It's still one of the few things that me and the old man can agree on. There was something in Korman's 6'4" height and amazing versatility that still manages to get my attention. He was just plain funny.
Sad to see another great one gone. Thanks for the memories, laughs and the Great Gazoo.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Working Class

Good Evening.
I apologize for my absence as of late. I've been at work, slaving away, stickin' it to the man and getting yelled at by old, unhappy ladies that have absolutely no fucking business owning a telephone. You know who you are you, ignorant raving crones. Go to hell.

Anywho, The word that could be used to sum up this past week is PERSEVERANCE. If anything I have shown more than I thought I was capable of. It feels good to know that I can do things that seem beyond my ability and confidence.

If anything, all we humans have is time. Time to think, regret, love and so much more. What do you do with your time? The question that sometimes keeps me up is that I wonder if I've wasted it in any way on either someone or something that wasn't worth it. Is working myself to death the only way to achieve some sort of fulfilment? Of course not, but I'm admitting right now that I've found myself using it as an excuse to not get out there and meet people or experiencing things. It's caused me to miss out on alot. This has been going on for a long time and I've got to stop that.

Today it hit me. For once I didn't care if I didn't do everything perfectly. I let the small stuff go without trying to control it, and I was a calmer person for it. Perhaps the fact that I'm learning to do things on my own without the support of a significant other got me to where I am now. I felt as if I had some grand enlightenment allowed into my life. It's a totally beautiful feeling to be self-sufficient and OK with emotions, letting them come and go, allowing yourself to be open to it all. I'm learning.

The picture was taken on a trip to San Francisco last year. It took my breath away. I'm looking forward to being that satisfied again.

One day at a time kids.

"There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose." - K. Hubbard
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Monday, May 12, 2008

On to Act II

Lovely Evening Ladies and Gents.

Ahhh, the sun has long since gone to bed, infomercials are gearing up to sell things that people are better of without, and the scent of sweet moisture is mixed in with the cold breeze of night air. I'm coming to you live from my living room couch. Led Zeppelin is our house band and I'm ready to rock.

There's an ice cold Mike's Hard Lemondade sitting patiently by my naked foot, while I recline slightly into the thin, ancient pillows that I have never brought myself to throw away. Yes people, I am trying my best to relax and be humbly greatful for putting in a long day at work. For those of you who know what I'm talking about, Kudo's to you. It takes a lot out of a person to be "makin' the doughnuts." Keep it up, stay strong and hang in there. Payoffs come in all different ways you know.

Well, I've decided to make a few changes for myself and this ride that I call life. I haven't gotten everything figured out but I'm sure as hell going to try and make do with what I have and get my ass to higher ground. I'm not expecting fame or fortune but damn, I want to be happy and if there's only one person I could turn to, to make that happen, it's myself. More on that later, I have to get some shuteye soon. Take care of yourself and don't forget to enjoy things along the way.


Wednesday, May 7, 2008

When he's not worth it.

I’m so sorry
I was mistaken
I thought I had known you
Better than you did yourself

Lordy I was dumb
To ever think
You could be well
And in your right mind

I screwed up
Your weak heart
And nonexistent sense
Got the best of us

Pardon me, if
I seem upset
You know the reason
Why I hate liars and cheats

But I’m better now
Without the hesitance
Wish you could see and cry
Although it’s better you don’t

Wouldnt want to
Make your head hurt
We both know that
Thinking is hard for you

Guess you’re really done
Nothing honorable left to offer
Me or anyone else
Whatta a waste, sucha shame

You’re so unfortunate
Hollow and too far down
Makes me cringe
To think of your voice

Guess that’s why
I forgot it all, too bad
But now I know more
And I’m thankful to not be around

Saw that you disliked a lot of things
That must be so damned awful
How do you sleep at night
When you can’t stand even yourself