Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
His name was Wilbur, and I didn't even know that until 3 minutes ago.
You see, most of the time, when running to the store for milk, bread or things I don't really need, but just want to spend the money on, I like to make sure that I don't leave the house without at least checking my appearance (make-up, high heels, clothes). I can't help it, I was brought up that way. In my closet you will not find a pair of sweats or even pajama pants that some girls seem to believe look "cute" during the middle of the friggin' day in public (it's July for godssakes people!) - but I digress. The only problem with ensuring that I look presentable, it attracts annoying googly eyed men who are starved for somethin' young and different from what you usually find at a small town Wal-Mart.
But on one of my trips, when I wasn't feeling to well (or nice looking at that) I was in the produce section looking for something to munch on that I'm not allergic to; I felt, in the back of my head, that someone or something was staring at me. I turned to see a very short, light-skinned man that was robust and round but had a very full head of black hair. He smiled a very full-watt smile that for some reason, made me react with an instant smile. With a equally cheery hello, he nodded in my direction and for once in along time, I wasn't upset with being talked to. For the next couple of years after that, whenever I saw him, the smile and jolliness never faded and it was always a very nice, change of pace feeling when he asked me how my day was. Mind you, I'm not usually treated this wonderfully everyday. I started going to bingo (yeah, like an old lady, I know) to keep my thoughts off of the daily grind and he and his wife were there also. Two very nice and friendly people who, in my opinion, were the sweetest individuals who didn't even need to be. I almost gave up on thinking people were still capable of being that way.
Later on, after thinking he was full-bred Hispanic, he shocked the bejeezus out of me by speaking in perfect Hopi (1/4 of my tribal belonging.) With this nameless guy that I knew, who never objectified me and always treated me with respect, I am just utterly saddened to hear that he died in a car accident coming in from out home (a phrase we Natives use when you go to your family village, whether it be Second Mesa or wherever). I'm speechless at the thought that I never took the opportunity to tell him how nice he was and how much of a blessing he was to just even say "good afternoon" after I've had a bad day. I will miss him and I need to carry on what he has started in me. Be friendly to everyone, live happily, because you just never know.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Last night proved to be the most fun that I've had in such a long time. I admit, my "going out" policy is too strict and I perhaps don't allow myself enough opportunities to relax like I really should. Even the complements I recieved from random men was a new experience. But rockin' in my seat and listening to B.B. King offer up some simple but useful knowledge from the stage was enough to make me realize that despite some setbacks, I am ultimately in a good place in life. I dunno, maybe it was the atmosphere and the night air, or maybe it was the Mississippi boondock blues that made me think clearly. Either way, I was deeply satisfied.
Well everyone (yes, all...3 or 4 of you), I believe that a long chapter (one filled with twists, turns, splendid ups, miserable downs and occasional dissapointments) in my life is finally coming to an end. Just as the rain hits the ground outside, I am left with the hope that the one person in this world who has caused the most hurt in my romantic life (so far) is starting to fade away into oblivian, out of my head and he's taking another what I consider "nuisance" down with him. For those of you who are currently going through a break-up of some sort. It's important to remember that as long as you are breathing, you're winning. As long as you stay strong, they weaken, and in the end, when you're out there, truly living for yourself, you have made it through. Today was sort of an odd expression of joy and exhiliration, everything including the weather catered to my heart.
The question now is will this beautiful feeling last? Will the new idea of this freedom I have aquired define my life in positive ways? Will I stay this thin and glam? Whatever happens, whatever may be brought to my doorstep, I'll be ready for it. If I've made it this far, why stop and give up? If you're going through this readers as I have, and you've been treated with disrespect, please stay in the fight and knock them on thier ass any way you can. We don't know what's on the other side of the tunnel, we can only hope we are prepared.