Almost as Good as New...

I can honestly say that it takes more than a year in some cases to get over the traumatic, horrible hurt that someone you once loved and trusted can cause in your life. For me however, its been a time filled with discovery and recovering some type of understanding as to how things are and could be. My future has the posibility to be wonderful and exciting mixed in with a little recklessness and spontaneity.

I've learned to say "fuck you" to those who do me no such good and have opened my arms to those who truly are with me in mind and spirit. As I've said before, a friend once told me that the best revenge is living well. When I think of all the crazy pain I could of put him and everyone around him in, I have to laugh and remember that the grass may not be greener on the other side and whatever he deserves is heading this way, even without my help.

Love and depend on yourself first, and hope for the best later. It may not always be a smooth ride but hell, as long as you take something from the journey, apply and use it for the good of the cause then you have done something extraordinary.

I had honestly thought a year ago that today would be one of the worse days of my life and I still wouldn't be over my ex and miss him like crazy, unable to function like some pitiful shut-in. Maybe at that time I took my will for granted and my pride was wounded, maybe I didn't have enough faith in myself like I do now, but I sit here smiling, and telling my story to you lovely people with the most clearest of thoughts that I've ever had in my entire life. I realized that I'm rapidly forgetting the sound and tone of his voice, the way his face held his emotions and decisions, the way he let me know he was in the room and in my bed. I'm leaving it behind. Maybe that's what its all about, learning to let go as well as holding on to what is important to your survival, your truth and life.

Kiddies, take care and remember that there is two sides to a coin and either it's a step back or forward that can make all the difference.