Even from a young age, listening to my parent's worn down copy of Rubber Soul and A Hard Day's Night, I loved him so much for how he made me think and feel. While getting lost in the mood that his lyrics put me in, I realized that this music was influential at a time when the discovery of one's abilities to create beauty through any art form was a pure, undeniable treasure.
I can certainly say that both his work with the Beatles and solo projects that followed later on throughout his career have gotten me through some really tough times. Some sort of strength always manages to puncture through the vocals and tells me that things are going to be alright. Even when crying for the hell of it out of anger and frustration and feeling truly and mercilessly self dependent, I am never alone when his voice is in the room. I'm not afraid to admit that one of the reasons that keeps me from packing it in and quitting is John Lennon.
Writing this makes me realize that I've forever been too protective of myself, my heart and ability. Seriously, never really opening up to those who expect so much of me all of the time. Will I ever get past this attitude? Is it my possible struggle throughout life? Did Lennon feel the same way? I guess the human experience is basically chalked up to resiliency and courage. I need to let go and move on. Focus on the small things like getting up each morning, how good it is to hear real music, how to fall in love again, how to allow myself to be loved and know that I deserve it, and most importantly, how to live and make new moments to replace all that I've endured. I owe it to the Walrus...
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