At what point do you start trusting people? When do you let them in? Usually I steer clear of gaining a true connection with others because it never lasts. Either lines are crossed and the relationship comes to a head where I am forced to chose whether I want to put myself through something, or we just slowly fade away from one another, sort of like a dream that I knew I had, but can't remember any of it. Losing touch with countless people and moving on in life seems to be a reoccurring theme. I'm unsure and all too willing to cut ties to save me some pain or guilt. However, I make no apologies.
Only now when I have met people that have brought so much to my life do I find myself rearranging all of these past ideals that I've kept close to my heart for protection. People I have found may be leaving the state soon, but I'm not losing friends, I'm gaining a slight notion that things can get better, and that someone can care about me if I only let them. When is the jaded kid inside of me going to wake up and realize that not everyone is bad, or has a hidden agenda? I can be an excellent lover, but I've never really given second thought to being a good friend instead. Maybe now is the time to take chances on that. Allow them in, to learn what it can be like to finally have mutual respect and not just one or two meaningless reasons to know someone. Its not to late. Make the most of whatever you have, right?
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